My Mantra

Sharing with you my favorite poems and article J -apd

 

CREDENDA

From “The Gift of Acabar” by Og Mandino

Turn away from the crowd and its fruitless pursuit of fame and gold. Never look back as you close your door to the sorry tumult of greed and ambition. Wipe away your tears of failure and misfortune. Lay aside your heavy load and rest until your heart is still. Be at peace. Already it is later than you think, for your earthly life, at best, is only the blink of an eye between two eternities.

Be unafraid. Nothing here can harm you except yourself. Do that (things) which you dread and cherish those victories with pride. Concentrate your energy. To be everywhere is to be nowhere. Be jealous of your time, since it is your greatest treasure.

Reconsider your goals. Before you set your heart too much on anything, examine how happy they are who already possess what you desire. Love your family and count your blessings. Reflect on how eagerly they would be sought if you did not have them.

Put aside your impossible dreams and complete the task at hand no matter how distasteful. All great achievements come from working and waiting. Be patient. God’s delays are never God’s denials. Hold on. Hold fast. Know that your paymaster is always near. What you sow, good or evil that you will reap. What you are is through your choice alone. Learn to live with honest poverty, if you must, and turn to more important matters than transporting gold to your grave.

Never meet trouble halfway. Anxiety is the rust of life; when you add tomorrow’s burdens to today’s their weight becomes unbreakable. Avoid the mourner’s bench and give thanks, instead, for your defeats. You would not receive them if you did not need them. Always learn from others. He who teaches himself has a fool for a master. Be careful. Do not overload your conscience.

Conduct your life as if it were spent in an arena filled with tattlers. Avoid boasting. If you see anything in you that puffs you with pride, look close and you will find more than enough to make you humble.

Be wise. Realize that all men are not created equal, for there is no equality in nature, yet no man was ever born whose work was not born with him. Work every day as if it were your first, yet tenderly treat the lives you touch as if they will all end at midnight. Love everyone, even those who deny you, for hate is a luxury you cannot afford. Seek out those in need. Learn that he who delivers with one hand will always gather with two. Be of good cheer.

Above all, remember that very little is needed to make a happy life. Look up. Reach out. Cling simply to God and journey quietly on your pathway to forever with charity and a smile. When you depart, it will be said by all that your legacy was a better world than the one you found.

 

Credenda – Latin word for matters of faith or doctrines to be believed. It’s from the verb “credere”, which means to trust or believe.

 

~ o ~

 

Closing Cycles (Cerrando Circulos)

                                                                                                            By Paulo Coelho

One always has to know when a stage comes to an end.  If we insist on staying longer than the necessary time, we lose the happiness and the meaning of the other stages we have to go through.

Closing cycles, shutting doors, ending chapters whatever name we give it, what matter is to leave in the past the moments of life that have finished. Did you lose your job? Has a loving relationship come to an end? Did you leave your parents’ house? Gone to live abroad? Has a long-lasting friendship ended all of a sudden?

You can spend a long time wondering why this has happened. You can tell yourself you won’t take another step until you find out why certain things that were so important and so solid in your life have turned into dust, just like that.

But such an attitude will be awfully stressing for everyone involved: your parents, your husband or wife, your friends, your children, your sister, everyone will be finishing chapters, turning over new leaves, getting on with life, and they will all feel bad seeing you at a standstill.

None of us can be in the present and the past at the same time, not even when we try to understand the things that happen to us. What has passed will not return: we cannot for ever be children, late adolescents, sons that feel guilt or rancor towards our parents, lovers who day and night relive an affair with someone who has gone away and has not the least intention of coming back.

Things pass, and the best we can do is to let them really go away. That is why it is so important (however painful it maybe!) to destroy souvenirs, move, give lots of things away to orphanages, sell or donate the books you have at home. Everything in this visible world is a manifestation of the invisible world, of what is going on in our hearts and getting rid of certain memories also means making some room for other memories to take their place.

Let things go. Release them. Detach yourself from them. Nobody plays this life with marked cards, so sometimes we win and sometimes we lose. Do not expect anything in return, do not expect your efforts to be appreciated, your genius to be discovered, your love to be understood. Stop turning on your emotional television to watch the same program over and over again, the one that shows how much you suffered from a certain loss: that is only poisoning you, nothing else.

Nothing is more dangerous than not accepting love relationships that are broken off, work that is promised but there is no starting date, decisions that are always put off waiting for the ideal moment. Before a new chapter is begun, the old one has to be finished: tell yourself that what has passed will never come back. Remember that there was a time when you could live without that thing or that person. Nothing is irreplaceable. A habit is not a need . This may sound so obvious, it may even be difficult, but it is very important.

Closing cycles. Not because of pride, incapacity or arrogance, but simply because that no longer fits your life. Shut the door, change the record, clean the house, shake off the dust. Stop being who you were, and change into who you are.
 

~ o ~

 
 
Desiderata

-Attributed to Max Ehrmann 1927

Go placidly amidst the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible without surrender be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly, and listen to others, even the dull and the ignorant; they too have their story. Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexatious to the spirit. If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain or bitter; for there will always be greater and lesser persons than yourself. Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time. Exercise caution in your business affairs for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals, and everywhere life is full of heroism. Be yourself. Especially, do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is as perennial as the grass. Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth. Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness. Beyond a wholesome discipline be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe; no less than the trees and the stars, you have the right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should. Therefore be at peace with God whatever you conceive Him to be. And whatever your labours and aspirations in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace with your soul. With all its sham drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.

Bygones.

In A Relationship

‘I can’t wait to see you have a partner, Annie.’ – Wendy to me while doing our warm up exercise. This hit me and made me rattle. I even forgot what I responded. I just immediately divert it to counting. ‘Chin up, 1,2,3… *warmingup
 
Why she have to do that? She does this most of the time. Making statements that will caught you off guard. I’ve thought of it sometime but I didn’t bother, you know, entertaining the idea, yet. And like a vision of hand penetrated from Wendy’s mouth, the words slap me in the face, left and right. My heart skipped a beat.Why am I not ready with the answer?
 
I remained single for a long time, going 6 yrs in a single status. I turned down every invitation. I’ve stayed away from certain friendships that may lead to…romantic relationship. I’ve tried it a couple of times and one of it ended up sinking down two ships, relation and friend. So I stopped, again. I built fences, giving limitations in interacting with opposite sex. I’m very much satisfied with my present situation, to stay single and to just enjoy life without forcing myself to get things that can be within my will yet, mostly controlled by other important elements and  changing personal views. So for now, I’d rather enjoy my 20s and save the serious stuff, later.
 
“Never think of marriage til you’re 30”. – Barney, How I Met Your Mother
 
I suddenly feel excited with Wendy’s dream. There! Hold on! I think I remember what I’ve said to Wendy. “Kung may boyfriend ako, baka wla kang kasama mag run ngayon. Hindi nyo na ko makakasama. Coz I’ll be busy doing my stuff with him.”
 
Here’s my problem. This is the part of my life that I always chicken out. I am full of questions. I remember somebody (a relative) asking me “Are you not afraid of ending up alone?” Well, I’m in this stage where everyone’s upbeat to mocker you for being single. For a moment, I remained silent and tried to repeat the question in my head. If I’ll give an impulsive answer, I would definitely say “I am!” Whenever I am asked with life’s questions, I tend to think about it deeply. Then I finally said “I think I’m more afraid of ending up with the wrong one”. That thought scares me. What if it didn’t work out?
 
‘When someone’s around me, I get suffocated. I’m really happy being alone. I mean being alone is better than sitting next to a lover and you’re lonely. It’s not easy to be romantic.” – Before Sunset
 
This idea still bugs me and made me reconsider my answer. Branches of questions start to pop up. Do I? Am I really scared of ending up with the wrong one and be miserable, worst if with kids? Shattered family? Or is it more on afraid of getting hurt? Do I have to taste that part of cake to know my answer? I’m terrified with the thought of growing old alone, but a part of me thinks I’ll probably be better off alone.
 
Where am I heading this blog? I know have a point, let me break it down for you.
 
Point 1. Relationship, my take is this. If you’re not sure with your feelings & really not settled with something you want to do, then don’t pursue it. But if you decide to go through it, do it and don’t play around with other people’s emotions. If you find the guy, marry. If not, then dont! It’s as simple as that.
 
Point 2. Live your life. Now, I can say that I have no regrets with my decision to stay single this long. I’ve done so many accomplishments. Besides, I became slightly honest & true to myself. I did not leave anyone hanging in limbo. Or maybe not. I made people clearly aware of my position. Or maybe not. I recognized how it feels to be rejected and to reject people. I discovered it the hard way and I can say, I’m learning. I don’t want to waste my time on something that I find unworthy. I know someday I will or maybe not meet the right match for me, but for now, I should be the right person. It’s about living your life, living with how you look at it and not how others look at it. I believe you’ll never ever have a happy married life if you didn’t live a happy single life. So enjoy now.
 
I know. There’s somebody for everybody. I got to believe that. Repeat til 30.
 
Point 3. Independency, a dream and fear collided. I enjoy independency. I love doing things on my own. And as a dream, I mostly say I want to have a baby. I like kids, a lot. But every time I think of having my own, it’s kind of, not cool. You know, it’s like it doubles everything. It doubles your expenses, your worries, your fears. Unlike when you’re on your own, you can skip a meal or just lie down when you feel not doing anything. But come to think of it, if you have a baby, you really got to do something. I like babies, but maybe I really don’t like a baby.
 
“I enjoy solitude. But loneliness is a constant ache.” –unknown
 
You get me? Do I make a point? I know I have, it’s just a lil, scattered.
 
Then I remember Summer from the movie 500 Days of Summer. She’s single, loves to do things on her own, dating yet she doesn’t believe in love. For her, there’s no such thing in a relationship. Then there’s Tom who believe otherwise. But at the end of the movie, she got married.

I know I’ll have the same ending. Marry.
Babies. Now is not yet the right time for a very serious matter. I am single, for now. God knows when I will be ready and He’ll be sending the best man for me.

Bygones.

Just saying. Bygones.

Meliorism 1 – Anawim

My first official outreach. I’ve done a lot actually, during my school days and also with AMCI, but these are all prerequisite. When i say official, i mean it as i voluntarilly join and made part of the preparation.

I hope I could do this monthly to update you of what I’ve been doing lately.  

You may wonder what keeps me busy I can’t find time to visit this blog. It started last February. I was invited by a friend to join her and her officemates to celebrate valentines with the lolo’s and lola’s at Anawim. She said it’s an orphanage for abandoned elderly. My schedule is clear and just in time that I am missing my lola who just passed away last January, I said yes, that I’d love to be part of it.

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Comes February 10, we go to Anawim. I really don’t know what to expect (well I know but I really-don’t-know kind of thing), what to see (aside from the grannies) and what to do. It felt like I was dragged in a game show, picked from the audiences and I have to participate without even knowing what is happening. I just observe most of the time. Taking some pictures, looking what the others are doing. I don’t know any of them, only my friend Janine whom I can’t disturb at the time and ask for the ‘can you tell me what is happening?’ They have prepared a program for the thunders, sing and dance, some interviews et al…   Here are some of the pictures:  

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There’s this one lola, that catches my attention. She keeps on saying thank you to Opah (one of the participants) in our visit.   “Maraming salamat sa inyo, sa pagdalaw. Mababait kayo. Maraming salamat, mga hija.”  
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I smiled to myself though it gave my heart a strong squeeze. I wonder how it feels. Not knowing where your own family is. To just hope that some strangers will visit you.  To give you a portion of their time and blessings. Yet you cannot invest your emotions on them, because they’re just, strangers. How it feels not to have that solid source of dependence, trust, assurance of love and home. It scares me.  

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As I look to their eyes (of course when they’re not looking which I normally do to anyone, even a stranger), I wonder what they are thinking. What they’ve gone to. Most of the lolos and lolas are abandoned by their families. I feel mad having that thought. Asking myself why and answering it myself. Reasons, whatever it is. I….just don’t get it.  

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My own take on this, we should not, ever abandon our parents. They took care of us. We should do the same to them when they are old. However, to other cases like old maid, that I’m still pondering on.   

♥ always,
Annie

Celebrating Being FAB

They made me realize a few things after hearing their statements. Wendy all of a sudden blurted out “Never a dull moment.” during our lunch break. Melissa gave her goodbye message, she goes and said something that struck me, “It wasn’t easy getting in but it’s easier with FAB.” I thought, yeah right, it’s not easy to be part of this group but once you get in, everything is easy. *Then the tear gland split open* These all came from their hearts I know.

FAB in Baler

We’re not usually like that, Gwen, Rodel, Kate, Myk, and Me. And when this people came in and just suddenly make a statement like that, with how happy they are to be in the group, everything made sense. Everything starts to have meaning. Everything is clear. ‘Coz honestly, I don’t know exactly where I am at. All I wanted is somebody to keep me company. I’m oblivious that I’ll find something better than that.

I thought FAB is just a group name, simple as that. I even find it funny whenever they ask someone if they are FAB member and will frown if kid that he/she isn’t. I never thought people would make a big deal out of it. That people can appreciate this old fashioned let’s-have-a-group-name thing. That people will make some interest of getting in to such chaotic group (yes, coz we’re all consist of different species). The scope maybe little, but it’s getting bigger. Even my sisters are telling me, “ah, kayo yung FAB” and the other one, “Wow, may customized shirt kayo!” We are being recognized.

FAB in Vigan

On this month, we are celebrating our fifth year anniversary and I won’t let it pass without ME having my say. I may not be good in speech, but let me be heard in letters.
Looking back, I only want to work, work, work and save. Then I met them. Plans got ruined (cry and laugh at the same time). Now I’m seeing the brighter side of it! (in a convince yourself tone)

FAB in Sagada

One second, we are five,

FAB in Rizal

and another, we’re family. I don’t know exactly how it happened; the others came out like mushrooms.

FAB in Coron Palawan

Members come, members go, yet the numbers just keep on adding up. Everything, everyone is extended. It’s like you suddenly had a brother, sister, auntie, uncle, nanay, tatay, babies, boyfriend, girlfriend, and all. The foods, clothes, and even money. Whatever you have, it’s like you are oblige to share it with them.

FAB in Bicol

What is it with this people I am so hooked about? Then I thought, they complete me. Corny it may sound but that’s the simplest thing I could describe it. Having them made me feel like I have everything.

If I want a good heart laugh, I’ll sit with the gays.

Midnight Bottle with the Gays
(Zac not included! I hope not! lol)

If I want to fool around, there’s Kate.

Wanna grab some snacks and your alone? Call Kleng.

Need a sisterly advice, ate May is in the house. Wanna unload; Chaty is just a floor away.

If I wanna get nasty, call everyone!

2011 Christmas Party
Myurks, Kleng, ME, Mel and Patty

You’re up to a party and need a date, get Joel.

Want some silence around and just need a companion, there’s Mike.

ME and Mike

Missing your mom and you can’t still go home, Mommy Les!

Mommy Les and ME

Unwind, O of T where everyone is game.

FAB 5th Anniversary
(Morong Bataan)

All those words, if wasn’t said, will never get through me. Thank you FABsters!

FAB in Ilocos Norte

Just a trivia, I came out with the word Ohana after watching Lilo and Stitch. Lilo: “Ohana means family, family means nobody gets left behind. Or forgotten.” This is so us. I texted Gwen and Kate and told them about it. There goes the revision of the FAB five to Fab O’hana…

 

Bygones.

Vow to My Someone

A friend lend me her Ally McBeal complete series and convincingly force me to watch it as for her, I will definitely like it. Oh well, I guess she’s right. I’m now on its second season and I am so enjoying the story as well as the characters in crush. It’s kind of, well, so American. Her character is so remarkable, wit and innocent humor combined. Her personal thoughts and active imagination is so hilarious, a woman who worries too much, someone who’s not aware she just cracked a joke and won’t laugh at others punch line either, and a woman who always have guilt in whatever she do. All this summed up, they branded her as Julie Andrews.

After watching few episodes of season one, I suddenly had the interest of doing some lil research about this series. I found out that this was shown late 90s and lasted year 2002. Surprising pull out of major cast took place, which led to distortion of the story. The repackaged show did not catch on and was canceled partway through its initial run. While 13 episodes of Ally were created, only 10 of those 13 were actually broadcast.

I wonder what I do that time, why I wasn’t aware such sitcom exists. What am I watching then? And my siblings? Why I never heard them talk about Ally. It can be a good thing though, for I will not be able to enjoy the story since I was young then. Now is the right time for me to learn from the story and the legal arguments, so smart.  As someone who is also single, working and having fun, I am loving McBealism. And the Biscuit (John Cage), he’s a sage!

Anyway, my point is, after the long intro, actually I do have a lot of thing to say about Ally not to mention the other characters which I find so remarkable plus the unisex bathroom and the bar where they all hangout at the end of everyday and how the dancing baby serves as Allys conscience and the series itself is so wonderful I would rather control my typing and stop entertaining branches of thoughts and focus on the purpose of my blog *gasp* (btw, that’s how Ally talk whenever she’s on the spot and nervous, no period, J)…If Ally has a song for her future someone, Goodnight  My Someone by the Music Man, which goes:

♪♫True love can be whispered from heart to heart. When lovers are parted they say, but I must depend on a wish and a star ♫ As long as my heart doesn’t know who you are.

I have my,

Vow to My Someone

As I wait for my someone, I will enjoy every single day for I know I’ll be busy being happy once we met. On this day, I promise I will never lose hope that soon we will find each other. I will never get tired of reminding myself that it’s worth the wait for I know the love we will share is a once in a lifetime love. That in between the lines of grays, I will think of you and how long you’ve search for me too. That for every lonely moment, I know that “Someone” is thinking of me and will present himself in its most enchanted way. That no matter how trickery love is, I will find my way back to the intersection track we promise to meet. And if the world failed to conspire with us; you will always have my love.

Weird huh? I think i need therapy. LoL

Bygones.

Why People Keep Secrets/Lie

Why people keep secrets? and lie? This questions made me think for a while and I’ve come up with three possible answers.

First is that, we keep secrets because there are things in our life that we are certainly not proud of, so we try to keep it to ourselves. Are you in an illegal relationship? Do you steal money from your parents to buy a new gadget? Do you have a funny nickname when you were young? These are just some of the things you wouldn’t boast around your friends. And whenever you come across that topic, you shut your mouth up.

Second, most of us have dream roles we wanna portray but we couldn’t, because it isn’t the reality. Some things we wish happened in a way we want it to be but didn’t. Therefore, we create some play in our heads and act it out based on our frustrations. In an effort to feed our fantasy, we find ourselves creating a scene/story that is built out of lie. The worst part of it is when you can’t find a way out but to lie more to sustain what was started. I know someone who always love to beat somebody else’s story. I don’t know her intentions, maybe to feel herself good? Or just to say “Hey, i know better!” or “Hey, mine is better!”. That sometimes, you can already tell that its a make-up story. We even caught her lying with the inconsistent answers to our flashes of questions. Let me sight an example, we once talked about a certain food, not just an ordinary food, its an expensive one. We all shared our stories about our experience of it and there she goes “You better try the one in…blah blah blah…Theirs is the best.” It doesn’t happen once, twice, or thrice. It’s in every topic we talk about! She always have better things to say to what we have said. I think it’ll be nice if she’ll put it in an FYI manner, but it doesn’t sound that way.

Then lastly, we keep secrets because it avoid causing you pain and others as well. A friend once told me, keep things to yourself if you know it will only cause harm. That if i don’t have any nice things to say, i better seal my mouth. With this, you control yourself from being true, filtering your thoughts and words, which is not bad i guess. But it somehow diminishes your sincerity over a person. Not unless you find a better way to put it in words, if it has any, like saying Go to hell… 🙂 I think I’ll make it “I wish you good life underground.” (soft tone, smile after) Better? 🙂 🙂 🙂

Given the above reasons, i guess all the people we care about deserve the truth, especially if it concerns them and as long as its not a selfish honesty. Remember, Pandora’s bound to open the box.

It’s always nice to tell the truth and to live with it. And it’s better to know the truth and be save from deeper hurt.

Bygones.